How Birth Order Determines How You Lead

Your leadership style and work tactics have likely been influenced by how you grew up — including the order you were born in the lineup of siblings, if you’re an only child or even a twin.

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Do any of these sound familiar? “You’re the oldest, so I bet you’re a natural leader.” “The youngest child is so persuasive.” “Oh you’re the middle child, were you always trying to keep the peace?” If you grew up hearing these sentiments, you might believe that where you fall in the lineup of your siblings can impact who you have become as a person and who you can be as a leader. To a degree, you’re correct.

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Alfred Adler, a 17th century Australian doctor and psychotherapist, popularized his theory that birth order has a significant and predictable impact on a person’s personality and feelings of inferiority. While more modern studies have found that birth order impacts personality less than Adler and his peers originally thought, there are still important connections between the two.

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Beyond the classic sibling stereotypes, each family unit’s unique dynamics are what truly shaped the person you are today. By understanding the connection between your birth order and leadership decisions, you can become an even better leader and help your team excel.

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It’s Both Nature and Nurture

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Some believe people are born with innate traits, while others think environmental factors shape you. The science says it’s both. Though the nurture component is over-associated with parenting tactics, sibling dynamics often impact your upbringing just as much. In fact, some parents subconsciously treat their children in a way that follows birth order stereotypes, and in doing so reinforce the expected traits. The age gap and gender differences of siblings can also impact their personalities. Research from the IZA Institute of Labor Economics found that large age gaps can have a more negative impact on the youngest child such neuroticism, while smaller age gaps can breed more competitive tendencies for older children. With so many variables in each family unit, it’s difficult to make a point-blank statement about each one. And while birth order cannot be identified in your DNA, there still is a correlation between your traits and your upbringing.

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Regardless of Birth Order, Leadership is Learned

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According to 2020 research, both male and female CEOs are more likely to be first-born. Despite this, every sibling type has unique leadership qualities. The oldest is known to be confident and organized. The middle can negotiate and collaborate. The youngest is observant and risk-averse. The only child is creative and independent. All of these personality traits are found in great leaders. Like everyone else, you see the world through a unique lens based on your lived experiences. By choosing to use that perspective and lived experience to your advantage, you can help recognize and capitalize on your powerful qualities to achieve your teams’ goals.

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Defy the Stereotypes

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While harnessing your unique experiences and upbringing is important, it’s equally necessary to unlearn any birth order stereotypes that no longer serve you. When you were a child, you likely took on a role to fit into your family’s structure. If your brother was the athlete, maybe you chose to go the musical route. If you’re an only child, you may have become more like one parent over the other. But just because you grew up a particular way, doesn’t mean you have to be that person now. A 2015 study revealed that the average absolute association between birth order and personality traits for U.S. high school students was 2%. That’s a pretty low correlation which means that you are more malleable than you know. You can work to become the leader you want to be.

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At the end of the day, birth order isn’t meant to pigeonhole you, it’s meant to serve you. By using this information to explain parts of who you are, you can better understand yourself and your team to make day-to-day experiences more enjoyable for everyone.