From Social Norms to Traditions: How to Build Culture That Lasts
Over the years, many pillars of your life have changed. You may have moved cities, live further from loved ones, and built a life that is different from your childhood. While this growth is productive and necessary, nostalgia or longing for normalcy is a common side effect of this much change.
Whether it’s a weekly family dinner or an annual holiday party, traditions can serve as a routine builder that bring your past and current lives together. Understanding your values around traditions will help you build a diverse repertoire of rituals that can be used to bolster every part of your life and culture around you.
Follow or Break Tradition?
Similar to how your attachment style is rooted in childhood, your views on traditions are often shaped by your experience growing up. Do you jump at the chance to start a new tradition with friends or family? If you experienced turbulence in youth, including changes to your parents’ relationship status, frequent moving, or death of a loved one, you might long for stability. While children are capable of adapting to new situations, trying to process these experiences without proper tools can disrupt the sense of safety and comfort needed to thrive. For others, traditions are simply a box to check. Do you roll your eyes at the suggestion of a new group activity? If you were raised with an authoritarian approach, rigid traditions can feel like an infringement upon your sense of freedom. Reflect on your prior experience with traditions, and uncover the roots of your perception.
Norms vs. Traditions
After acknowledging the context of your own beliefs, it’s important to examine the broader impact of these experiences. Traditions are present well beyond family holidays — they exist at companies, universities, business meetings, community centers, and beyond. Long before they became an integral part of your life, these traditions likely started as rituals — or repetitive behaviors that have a symbolic purpose. Rituals can be a solo practice or in groups and can stem from different objectives like washing your hands to prevent germs or a team chant to ensure a team win. As rituals build layers of sentimentality and consistency over time, they can spread to others and become larger social norms. These norms, or group ritualistic behaviors, begin to guide our standard communication and behavior. Finally, social norms become traditions when they become a consistent priority in the lives of those who practice it. Though some traditions are extremely specific and difficult to follow, others can be built to adhere to your lifestyle. You don’t necessarily have to walk over burning coals to do something meaningful. Try experimenting with traditions in the reinforcement learning stage — using trial-and-error to receive social feedback and adjust where you allocate time. If you want to get coffee with a new colleague each week, it doesn’t need to have an official label. While it may technically fit the definition of a tradition, don’t let that intimidate you. Letting moments exist without rigid structure is often when the best traditions are created. To develop your desired traditions at home, work, or just on your own, identify your current rituals and start experimenting.
Create Traditions, Create Culture
Starting traditions can cultivate community, establish culture, and build a deep sense of belonging. One day, you’ll feel nostalgia for moments like these. Routine practices can become powerful and effective tools to establish close knit teams and families. Over years and generations, you can leave your legacy through these moments. It can be as simple as a ritual in your weekly team meeting or as elaborate as an annual destination offsite — you’re building something to last. It’s also likely that you’ve outgrown some of your former traditions, while others continue to be a part of your life today. Take note of why you’ve held onto those. Do they let you spend time with certain people, allow you to take a break from the daily grind, or increase stability in a fast-paced environment? Use your answer to reshape your traditions and create the culture you crave.
Traditions are an incredible tool that allow us to heal parts of ourselves and form new connections over generations. By reflecting on your relationship with traditions, you now hold the power and can cultivate the culture you’ve always wanted.
